Still hanging in there

Well... I has been a while since my last post. Things haven't really changed. At All!!! That means that I am still living at home with my husband and seem to be in a relationship... married to him still. He is not telling me where his mind is at, but, seems to be a bit more settled anyway.

I passed my personal training certification test with a good score.

And I am looking to the future with a positive outlook.

I want to be married to this man. And I will do the work to make that happen.

Wish me luck!!

Another foggy day

Here is is. Another foggy day. I hear the sun is supposed to shine tomorrow. I'll believe it when I see it.

On the home front, things are the same. Very confusing. The husband and I had a nice dinner out and he seemed to enjoy our time together. I guess, with what has been said to me, I am always trying to read into his feelings. I do try not to, but it is not that easy.

I am leaving for Chicago tomorrow for a week. I am very nervous about what will happen when I come home. Will he have decided that he likes to be away from me? Maybe, maybe not. That is what I get from him all the time.

I really didn't want this blog to be about this subject. And, hopefully, soon I will be able to move on and make it about other important things in my life. Right now this subject seems to be all consuming and I really don't have anyone to talk to. So... this gets to be my journal.

What do I want to blog about?
.fitness
.travel (Mexico)
.family
.knitting??
.FUN

Someday soon I will
.

When will it clear up?

It is still grey and cloudy out. About day 7.. Kind of like my mind. What am I going to do? Things just aren't clear. Is he working towards me or away from me? He doesn't know. It is pretty painful stuff. He says he loves me. That I am his best friend. He is still attracted to me. ect ect...

Chin up Carrie. The sun will shine someday. I just don't know where I will be when it does.

There is always a first time

OK... Here goes. I am not sure what the view from the water is going to be about. Things seem to be changing in my life. And they are going in a direction I did not expect.

I just spent a weekend at a personal training certification class and will find out in a couple of weeks whether I passed that test. That is definetaly a new direction for me.

I was told by my husband of 25 years that he is not sure he wants to be married any more. Totally blew me away. I am (?) more in love with him than ever. I thought he felt the same way. Another new direction? (I am hoping not)

We own a fabulous condo in Mexico that I was planning on retiring too some day. Maybe I'll just move there by myself. How is that for a new direction?

I apologize to anyone who comes across this and reads it. I really am just trying to sort things out in my own head.

There is always a first time!